Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
