Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
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