I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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