Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
