I can't watch pbs sober anymore
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Randomize
