Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I have fence marks all over my body
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
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