yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
17 Women That Lost Condoms Up Their Lady Parts
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
23 People Confess The Most F*cked Up Thing Guests Have Done In Their House
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.