And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
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well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
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Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.