I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
