No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Randomize
