yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
