Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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