I only kidnapped one of them. chill
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Randomize
