He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
