Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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