My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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