Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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