xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
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