4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
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Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
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K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
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