the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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