What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
