I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
