I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
The best revenge is premature balding
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
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