I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
