did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize