im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Randomize
