Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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