Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
