last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Randomize
