i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize