Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Randomize
