Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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