So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
