it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Randomize