I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Who wears a wallet chain?!
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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