two words: eviction party
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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