You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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