sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
