Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize