i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
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This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
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Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
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