I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
