i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
someone get that fucking seahorse.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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