if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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