im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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