I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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