We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
