you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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