piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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