Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
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