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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
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