YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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