i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
