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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
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You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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