After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
