I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
