would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Randomize
