i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
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I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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