it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Sorry my hands just texted you
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Randomize
