Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Randomize
