shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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