Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
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