i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
