He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
