I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
